After last night’s emotional discussion of Master’s mind games and the effects that they have on me, it took a day of safe stepping and healing the “wounds” that had been made. W/we have been lucky. W/we almost never fight/have issues that arise between U/us, but when one does arise, it hurts U/us both majorly even if it may seem like nothing. This is one of the main times when i come to almost resent the 600 miles between U/us. Couples that are together when the issue comes up are able to have that physical touch to heal that “gap” that pulled between you. But, when your “O/other” is more than a quick drive away, it can be hard to get back to the normal state where you know that you as a couple will be ok and the other person is still wanting you in the same way. However, W/we are also not able to cover those gaps up because if W/we don’t talk about them then there is a near constant pull on U/us.
Today, even though there had been the verbal “recommitment” that W/we both still want this relationship and all that comes with it, W/we tight-rope walked what W/we said most of the morning. It simply wasn’t U/us. All i wanted was to feel Master’s hands on me, to hold Him as he held me, to have the cuffs and collar on that mark me as His slave. This was what W/we needed to heal. But unfortunately no matter how badly we may have needed or wanted it, the 600 miles between U/us was not a voyage that either of U/us could make today.
After talking on the phone for a while after my classes, W/we were able to reestablish the normalcy back into O/our relationship. It started off casual, friendly, standard but the love and bond between U/us pulled U/us back together quickly. Then W/we were able to talk a little bit about what happened last night…. both of U/us were tired, stressed, hormonal in my case and sick in His. W/we decided that until W/we are together and He can pull me out of some of my “upbringing,” i would tell Him that whatever was really getting to me was a “hard limit” for that day and He would know not to push more. i am not to use this as a daily or even close, i am just to save it for those occasions when i feel truly uncomfortable so He will know to stop pushing (which is a very hard line to judge when you cannot see each other’s reactions). After W/we established this, it was like a weight was lifted off O/our shoulders and W/we were able to get back to more of a normal day. W/we talked about the different S&M stories that W/we have been reading together on Under Stories and the ideas that W/we had as far as how W/we can apply them to O/our relationship (i’m sure you will hear more about this in the future). Then, when i asked for permission to go to the bathroom, Master had me pee on my fingers and lick it off again. it does shock me that no matter how nervous i feel about this, it always leads me to feel extremely submissive. All i know is that now that this is becoming more common, i will either be washing my teeth much more or W/we need to get a large supply of mints or gum until i get more used to the taste.
It is so comforting to know that after a rocky night and morning i am able to rest easy tonight knowing that Master and i are better than ok.
Behind the Gag 